Seriously, my heart is broken for my city, due to the horrific event that occurred yesterday at the Boston Marathon.
So much… where to… ahhhh. I mean, I survived two horrific events, 9/11 and the DC Sniper, but this… this hurts.
Home must really be where the heart is, because my heart is truly hurt!
I was sitting at my desk at work, a little annoyed that we we're the only seemingly company in Massachusetts that had work on Patriots day, only to read the awful news on Twitter and hearing my co-worker sobbing saying that a bomb went off at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. I felt confused and saddened immediately, as the devastating news progressed, I couldn't help but feel RELIEF that I wasn't down there AS PLANNED, to cheer on a friend who was running.
I called my family to make sure everyone was safe… THANK GOD my pregnant sister in-law, whom works literally across from the bomb explosion, left work when she felt her building rock, she avoided the crowd and blocked off subways just in time and was one stop away from her house. After receiving reports that all of my immediate family was fine, I started checking on my friends.
A group of my volunteer friends and I were all going to gather at the finish line, so that we could celebrate and watch our friend cross, but that never happened. I went on the website to track his number, it said that he crossed, but did not say at what time. My heart was in my throat as I searched beyond Facebook and Twitter updates, and Instagram posts from them to see what was happening, but nothing. I texted everyone to check in, but nothing.
My company was on lockdown, in fear this was a terror attack, and not wanting to send us out into danger, they had put together a carpool buddy system, ensuring that we all made it home safe, and avoided mass transit.
I'm still watching the news, looking at Twitter and Facebook to see if there was any developing information, but nothing was secure, and there was no credible information.
"Who did this, and why?"
As I traveled home, we had to pass Boston Medical Center, which was swarmed with FBI, ATF, and State Police, in addition to ambulances, and news trucks everywhere. My heart began to sink more in my stomach… that uncomfortable feeling that "we're never really safe." even on bright and sunny days, when we're supposed to feel safe, even in the middle of a marathon with heightened police presence, even in a crowd of happy people.
I made it home safely, relieved once again that 1. I wasn't there, and 2. I made it home. I tried to go on with my evening like today's events didn't happen, and then I seen the death and injury tolls. Tears for people whom I've never met fell to the floor, tears I didn't even knew I had, and then my thoughts flooded my heart… "What if my mom was there, or my brothers or sisters", "What if my volunteer friends were those people I seen in pictures on the sidewalk covered in blood, with missing limbs?", "What if… what if I would have called out of work, just to go there?", … Then my thoughts escalated to other thoughts, thoughts I didn't even knew I had, feelings I didn't know I had either. It's funny how a tragedy can do that to you.
Tragedy is like a mid-wife for feelings… because it sure did bring out EVERYTHING and then some: people who I want to tell I forgive, people who I wanted to tell I love, people who I haven't spoken to, things I wanted to do… all kinds of craziness.
When those two bombs went off in my city and killed 3, and injured 144 people, a piece of my heart broke, but also other things were birthed, and somethings re-affirmed: Gratitude, Appreciation, and tomorrow really isn't promised.
Thank you for life, and I pray that I will live a FULL and PURPOSEFUL life. May your peace and joy be with the families of all those affected by the bombing. May you comfort their hearts in their time of need. May you release your strength and purpose to all the survivors. Amen."
❤ TD ❤ @TeLisaD